Have a nice Doomsday
by firemaiden01
Summary: Chapter 7 is here. Some CA action, but they got busted. The 'Good' guys are finally on the move. An unholy alliance is bringing the doomsday near.
1. Chapter 1: Reunion

Disclaimer: I do not own any of this, the original story was created by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. Neither do I own this quote, but I love it, so here it goes, and curiously, it will also be my title.

"_**HAVE A NICE DOOMSDAY"**_

**Chapter I**

After the shoulld have been... started... never ended... so wasn't really... Appocalypse... a week later, in fact.

The blonde haired man with blue eyes and perfect manicured hands, was deeply immersed in a book with lively colors in it's cover; he was sitting behind his desk in a dark room at the back of his own bookshop, when the swift jingle of the doorbell in the entrance announced someone had just enterd, but the sound wasn't enough to extract the angel from the depths of his book.

The man closed the entrance door, and noticed he could use the back of the door as a mirror, a tall man, with dark hair, golden eyes with snakelike pupils hidden behind sunglasses, dressed in a black suit and wearing snake skin boots.

"Crowley, you are one sexy demon". He told himself.

As the demon, known as Crowley, began striding between shelves filled of antique and rare books searching for he owner of the store, the owner kept reading, without realizing that the man outside had started his way moving to the door that lead to the back room.

As a demon, Crowley loves mischief, so he would try to scare the hell out of the angel, ironically, as you can't scare the hell out of an angel.

He tried the doorknob, but the door had been locked... _Damn, what can he be doing in there? Maybe he's got a partner... will that be a he or a she?... well, better find o_ut. As he thought of the last part, he disappeared the door without any noise and burst into the room yelling

"Am I interrupting something I shouldn't see?"

The angel jumped with the noise and fell backwards, leaving the book on the desk. As Crowley started walking towards the book, the angel dashed and took it first, his face slightly blushed.

"What were you reading that I'm not allowed to see?" Asked the demon, clearly offended.

"As you've inquired yourself... it's none of your business." Said the angel as he fixed his glasses, wich had broken with the fall.

"What is there of interesting with _'Biggles goes to Jupiter_'?" The demon couldn't suppres a smirk,

"Hey! Not fair to read through!"

"There was no need, are holding the book with it's front cover at me." Now he was laughing, there was nothing he enjoyed most than bugging his good friend.

"Anyway... is there anything I can do for you?" Asked the angel as he lead the way to the counter of the shop.

"Well, it's just that the week before last, we met everyday and last week, we never talked to each other..." Crowley wasn't looking at his friend as he spoke.

"Aw... You miss me?" Finally it was the angel's chance to tease the demon.

"You wish, Aziraphale, but I'm bored and I need to have some fun... wanna go for a drink? Or two?"

"You think it's okay for a demon to tempt an angel?"

Crowley didn't answered, he just lowered his sunglasses a little and gave an innocent glance at the angel.

"Ok. But just a few, I don't want to get drunk as it always happens when we drink together."

"Hey, if not, what would be the benefit of having the ability to sober up?"


	2. Chapter 2: His' and His' Wine Cellar

**Chapter II**

As they exited the bookshop, they made their way to an old black car, but not any old black car, a classic Bentley of the year 1926.

"I wonder what would the Bentley company do if they knew there's an 11 year old boy who's able of appearing them out of thin air." Said the angel as he made himself comfortable in the passengers seat.

"Knowing today's world... probably sue him or give him a job." Said the demos while he started the engine.

"Ok, Crowley, I just want you to know that I don't want to go asking the Anti-christ, I mean, Adam for another body, and I don't thing you feel like dumping your new Bentley, so if you would please drive carefully and," Aziraphale was interrupted by the sound of tires burning against the pavement when a car goes at 90 mph in downtown London, "drive between the speed limit!" He chose to close his eyes, and pray.

"Hey I'm just saving us sometime" Said Crowley with a smirk, "you need to relax a little, let's play some music.. I just hope I have something besides Queen..."

As soon as Crowley pushed the play button, after chosing Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker, they heard Freddy Mercury, but not as Queen.

"CROWLEY! You BLOODY TRAITOR! WE HAVE SEEN YouR BEHAVIOR, SPECIALLY WITH THAT FRIEND OF YOuRS, THAT BLOODY ANGEL, NOW You TuRN UP TO BE A FAG-"

"Why don't we better talk?" Crowley had blushed a little, but thanks to the shadow of the sunglasses, Aziraphale wasn't able to notice.

"Well, at least it wasn't Queen exactly." Said the angel, trying to relief his friend.

"Yeah right, thanks for noticing Mr. Brightside."

"Hey, don't take your anger on me, I'm just a passenger."

"You know, suddenly I don't feel like drinking in public."

"We can go to my book store, to the back room or to your place." As Aziraphale noticed the grin Crowley always wears before teasing him and bothering for his behaviour -saying he's is gay- Aziraphale quickly said. "Just to drink, Crowley! That you want for something else to happens doesn't mean that I do too, in case you haven't noticed I don't have your sexual orientation." Just as he finished the sentence he thought, _Great, I messed _up... _here he comes..._

"Right... right...," after a short pause he said what Aziraphale had thought, "faggot." And the demon started laughing carelessly.

After a 3 minutes ride that should have taken the best part of half an hour, they got to an immense and rustic building, with so many details that not even Aziraphale's angelic and book collector eyes could take all the details, in the lack of words, all he could do was to open his mouth in atonishment as he turned his head to examine the building up and down and left to right, he released a soft gasp. At this time, Crowley was standing next to him and said,

"You like this, don't you?"

There was something in the way he said it that made Aziraphale blush slightly, he couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with him, as the demon's every word sent a rush of blood to his face and a shiver down his spine. It was time to admit it. _Ok, I have a problem... A _real _ problem._

"It's just I have been through this street so many times, and I don't remember ever noticing such a... an... splendid building, it is so perfect, it still amazes me that mankind is capable of this kind of things."

As they entered they noticed the name of the establishment, 'His and his wine cellar', the first 'His' was written in golden letters and had white wings at each side, the second 'his' had a little red devilish tail and a gray wing on each side.

"I hate it, don't they know demon's wings are black? And look, the white one looks more groomed... as if." Said Crowley, keeping his' own wings right under his clothes.

"Well, what did you expect? They probably have never seen a _real_ demon's wings," as he turned his gaze to his friends new grin wich was a mixture of revenge and joy he quiclky added, "and we better keep it like that, thank you."

"Excuse me gentlemen, can I help you?" Said a man who couldn't be over his 40's, maybe reaching to the 50's by the look of his hair, it was pale gray with black spots, he was dressed as a waiter, probably the atendant of the place.

"Oh, yes please, kind sir." This was the angel speaking, always properly and respectful.

"We are looking for the best red wine in the cellar, don't worry about the price." Tha demon didn't even bother to look at the man as he spoke, he was listening intently to some kind of background music he was quite familiar with.

Once the atendant reappeared after some quick 5 minutes --too fast for having to search the whole cellar—carrying 7 diferent bottles of wich seemed quite expensive wine.

"By the way, is that Freddy Mercury you are listening?" The angel seemed a little uncomfortable out of the blue.

"Oh yes, the best of Queen, there has never been a better album." After this sentence, the waiter noticed the man in the dark suit had lost a bit of his skin color.

"We'll take them all, thank you," Crowley started writing a check for the exact amount of money of the 7 bottles and gave it to the man. With that, he rushed out of the establishment, followed by a perturbed angel.

As the waiter heard tires screeching and the sound fading, he said in a quiet rough voice.

"Master, I have had the first encounter, it was them, undoubtedly."

"_GOOD, NOW KEEP AN EYE ON THEM, DON'T LOOSE THEIR TRACK, UNLESS YOU WANT TO END AS LIGUR_"

"Understood Master."

After that, the corpse of a man who couldn't be over his 40's and was maybe reaching his 50's was the only thing left in the empty piece of land.


	3. Chapter 3: On His Way

**Chapter III**

If anyone would have been able to see him in the darkness they would have noticed he was tall and well built, with a soft tan, handsome features and a piercing on his left eyebrow, he had jet-black hair tied in a small pony tail. He was wearing a black turtle-neck sweater, black jeans and black leather boots. He had his back on a lamp post, wich curiously was the only one in the street that was off, and was playing with the keys of the black 2006 _Rolls Royce _that was behind him. Suddenly he got into the RR took his Armani sunglasses from a compartment on the car, put them on, turn the radio on and started the engine. He drove into the night singing

"_Are you happy, are you satisfied _

_How long can you stand the heat _

_Out of the doorway the bullets rip _

_To the sound of the beat". _

And without knowing, everyone with nothing on mind that happened to walk down the street that night had just seen a fallen angel and prince of Hell drive in front of them.

Beelzebub was on his way.

_The song is 'Another One Bites the D_ust'_, guess whose?_


	4. Chapter 4: Good Times

Chapter IV

"The Good Times"

Some miles away from where Beelzebub had been standing, in the most loved part of Tadfield, in Lower Tadfield the 'Them' and Dog where laying with their backs on the grass, finding shapes in the clouds, if you think it's weird for the Them to do something so relaxing as finding shapes in the clouds, let me tell you how they got there.

Finally Adam's punishment was over, and to celebrate the Them went to the lake, Pepper's sister had given Pepper a cake wich she baked herself, so Pepper took the cake to the lake.

Against Wensley's warning, everyone, including him and Dog, ate the cake before diving.

But probably, what none of them realized was that Pepper's little sister doesn't even have 10 years old, it's not likely for a girl so young to _bake_ a cake by herself, so as you must have guessed, the cake had, some mud to make the dough thicker, some mustard to make paler the brown of the mud, some ketchup and mayo, because mustard, ketchup and mayo always go together, besides the bizarre ingredients, she didn't even get near the oven, she just scuplted the shape of a cake with the raw dough and covered it with ready-to-go chocolate icing.

The stomach-ache was so strong, even for Dog's hellish stomach that none of them fell capable of doing anything but laying on the grass and find shapes in the clouds, standing up every now and then to throw up and wash their mouths in the lake.

"Look, that one lookes like a heart!" Everyone turned around and eyed Pepper with their most quizzed looks. It's not common of her to say something so girlish.

"What? It does!" She said, blushing slightly. "Anyway, over there, to the left... that one looks like a sword."

"Yeah, and look! To the right... that one looks like a pair of scales." Said Brian.

"Scales? How could a cloud be scale-shaped? Now you will probably say there's one that looks like a crown." Said Wensley.

"Em.. Wensley?... Look over there, where my finger is pointing... What do you see?"

"I eat my words... that cloud looks like a crown."

The Them started laughing so much that the stomach-ache wasn't for the cake anymore, it was of laughter.

Suddenly they all fell silent until Adam broke the silence.

"Do you think we will see any of those nice people again?"

"I hope so, the Angel.. whatwashisname? Oh yeah, something like Zira or Azi hmmm, maybe Azira? I think it was Azira." Said Brian,

"Brian.." Said Wensley.

"Yeah?"

"You didn't finish your thought."

"Oh, right... Where was I? Oh yeah... Azira, well, he looks like a kind person."

"That was all? You kept us waiting for that?" Pepper had turned, for the first time since they had their backs against the grass, to face Brian.

"Well, he seems to know about books, I wish I could talk to him" This was Wensley speaking.

"And that one with the black wings, he is good looking." Said Pepper.

"Pepper, he had black wings, he is a demon." Said Brian

"So? He didn't look evil, besides he didn't want for the world to end either."

"Pepper loves a demon!" Said Adam, standing up with a bolt.

While Brian, Wensleydale and Dog followed his example and started teasing Pepper, Dog was barking at the rythm of the teasing song.

Oh yes, the good times were back, for how long, I am afraid that if they knew what was going on their direction at that same moment, they would have behaved another way, because none of them knew what Beelzebub was capable of.


	5. Chapter 5: So Near, Yet So Far

Chapter V

"So Near, Yet So Far"

"God! I swear that was a creepy old man!" Aziraphale was starting to breathe normally as he said this, but had to harden his grip as Crowley did a dangerous u-turn at dangerous speed.

"I good as hell don't care about the guy, it was Freddy Mercury singing, the guy from Queen, the one who worships the lord of Below, the one who connects demons in the this world with those in the world below." He was very pale, and slightly shaking because he knew that his excuse of the innefable plan wouldn't keep the _down below _and the _high above_ in peace for much time.

They spend the next 3 minutes focusing on the road, until they got back to Aziraphale's book shop and to the upstairs private room.

"Do you think...? No, it's absurd, they wouldn't. Would they?" Said Aziraphale, they had begun relaxing a little, with was logical, after 2 bottles of red whine, they were starting to feel the alcohol running in their blood.

"I don't know. I hope they don't. And if they do... Hell, we've got the Antichrist on our side." Crowley rose his cup as he said the Antichrist.

"True... true." Said Aziraphale as he rose his cup too. "But taking on count that they are God and Lucifer, maybe Adam's powers won't be enough."

"Newp." The alcohol was now really affecting Crowley. "They wouldn't join to get us, we're just two guys and they could call you up there, if they thought you a rebell, you would have fallen."

"unless... that is a part of the ineffable plan," Aziraphale had drank just a half of a bottle while Crowley had drank the other one and a half, so of course Aziraphale could still think clearly.

"The what? Look, not to worry angel, if they mean harm to you, I will tear them apart." Immediatly after this Crowley poured some more whine to his glass and drank it with one gulp. His face was so red that Aziraphale couldn't tell if he had blushed or if it was because of the whine, but what he was sure of was that his' redness was because he had blushed.

"You know... if they were looking for us or something like that we would certainly notice. So let's enjoy the day and not waste the whine." Said Aziraphale as he refilled his glass.

"That's what I'm talking about."

And the third bottle was soon over.

Outside the bookshop, a man dressed in formal clothing, curiously all his clothing was black, a black long sleeved shirt, black pants, black shining shoes and a black tie wich you could only difference from the shirt if he walked near a lamp post or looking very closely at him. He only muttered and left. But no one was there to here what he said.

And he said this:

"You don't know how close you are to the truth and eternal extinction. Both sides want you down and I don't mean Below." He grinned and walk to a hotel that was exactly in front of the bookshop, just crossing the street. After all he had strict orthers to 'Keep an eye on them'.

Once he had a room, wich he hadn't payed and had just appeared himself in it, he couldn't help but thinking, _Why couldn't He send one of His'? Isn't he all mighty? He could just make disappear them from earth, but noooo, here we are evil demons to do the evil deeds of the all merciful God. I don't think he has even told my Lord that damned ineffable plan._

_I wish I had a telescope and a stereo. I've found those things to be grand entertainment and disturbing to neighbors._


	6. Chapter 6: Mr and Mrs Pulcifer at Night

Chapter VI

"So, can you tell me once again..."

"Yes?"

"Why the hell are we here!"

Let's just say Newton Pulcifer was a little cranky by the fact that his wife, Anathema Pulcifer, had dragged him along with her to talk with the angel Aziraphale and the demon Crowley.

"I've told you, Newt."

"Yeah, but there's not really an answer in 'That's classified information'."

"Well, I can go by the world telling everyone what will happen."

"What you _suppose_ will happen."

Anathema took out a little index card and pointed the flash light to the card wich she pushed in front of Newton.

In case I hadn't mentioned it, Newton wasn't cranky because she had dragged him with her, he was cranky because she had dragged him with her at 3 am, didn't the woman know that from 3 to 6 am is the time where the body gets the best rest?

"Before I read anything, I just want to declare that you shouldn't have opened the book."

"I opened it just once, as we agreed, you were there with me and this is what came out. Now we are in, we can't go back." –There was a pause – "Now read."

0001: When the men in black walk the earth, the good one and the mean one will be in danger, the boy who lived a normal life and those who survived along will have to take risks for Zeus and Hades are now getting along, it will be time to run, for the doom is near to come.

"Wow, you've transcribed it from old english to nowadays english, that's cool."

"Pulcifer! Focus!"

"Oh yeah, right. What makes you think they talk about the Aziraphale and Crowley here?"

Anathema just stared.

"Alright, _maybe_ the 'good one' is Aziraphale as he is an angel, _maybe_ the 'mean one' is Crowley as he is a demon; _maybe _'the boy who lived a normal life' is Adam as he is the antichrist and should have led an antichrist's life, _maybe_ those who survived are everyone that was there with him, meaning you, me, the Them, the dog, whose name's Dog by the way, Mr. Shadwell and Madame Tracy, and_ maybe _and I make an extra special emphasis on that _MAYBE_, Zeus is God and Hades is Satan, you know, giving them the names of their greek equals." – Newton stood in silence for a while, then said – "Alright, alright. Let's get going."

"Right. The bookshop's right in front of that hotel, we better get in without a fuzz, there might be people awake and staring in the hotel." Anathema was walking slowly and soundlessly, eventhough there was no one in the street and all the windows facing the bookshop were dark.

"I don't think they even bothered to close the door, when I called them 1 hour ago, they sounded pretty drunk."

As they thought, the door was unlocked, but not because they were drunk. It was becauseof this. When they got in, they were nervous and focused on getting drunk to forget the nervousness that they _did_ locked the door, but Crowley unlocked it in one of his drunken attacks (just as a fact, they had already finished the best red whine bottles and were in the second half of Aziraphale's red whine reserve, his reserve is more than a hundrer years old, imagine how many bottles were there.) when he went to the street at midnight to yell "Ay mis hijos!" (Ow my children) as said in a Mexican leyend called "La llorona" (The lady that cries a lot, to put it formally) and kept yelling until Aziraphale stopped laughing and dragged him back inside. Anathema and Newt locked the door behind them.

Hastur turned on the light of his room, not that he needed as demon's having snake like eyes can see the heat if they are willing to and even without the snake's eyes, being a demon gives you a hell of a sight... a hell of good senses in fact. With his good hearing, he perceived there had been movement in the street, but it took him a while to get up from the floor as he had his demonic form for his comfort. By the time he got to the window, the street was silent and vacant.

A/N: By the way, aren't you amazed of how fast a wedding can take place? They probably went to Las Vegas or something like that. In case you were wondering, Newton and Anathema _did_ invite all the good characters _and_ Crowley to their wedding, they have pretty pictures were everyone is wearing their best clothes and smiling. Aziraphale gave them a book called "Heaven is in the family" as a wedding gift and Crowley's was not to do anything mischevieus during the wedding wich they really thanked because with the Them and Mr. Shadwell there was enough embarassment and laughter for a wedding.


	7. Chapter 7: Busted

Chapter VII

"You know... I think I've just heard a sound.." The angel's reddish face almost shone in the barely lit room.

"My, my, isn't it hot in here or is it just me?" Crowley began loosening his tie.

"I really think there was a sound in the door." Aziraphale hadn't noticed Crowley's beggining of a striptease.

"Hmn... this is getting nicer... but it's still too damn hot!"

"Now, maybe we should sober up, don't you think Crow-WOW-" What the angel saw, made him stop talking as his breathing accelerated. "Crowley! What are you doing?" Aziraphale couldn't take his eyes off the view .. Crowley's butt and his well toned back.

Now that the shirt was off, Crowley felt free, but as he turned, he discovered he was alone... his partner wasn't joining the nudity game.

_Well, not for long..._ With a stride, Crowley crossed the distance that separated them and without talking removed Aziraphale's coat, unbuttoned his shirt and removed it... both faces were scarlet red with their noses almost touching.

_He think's I'm drunk... it's my chance... if anything comes wrong... I can always blame it on alcohol... after all, six milennia could at least get me to the bed with him... it's so hard being lustful with an angel... still, this isn't all about sex... but that's one of the best parts... my plan is flawless_.With this in mind, Crowley grinned inwardly and cupped Aziraphale's head between his hands.

_Oh my... is this tr_ue?... _It's my chance... after all, if things come out badly... I can blame him... he's a demon... of course he is to blame..._ Aziraphale took a quick peek to Crowley's abs... _one sexy demon, I must say, and after knowing him for six milennia, well... it's just what it ought to be. _Aziraphale covered the 5 missing for their lips to lock into a long, breath-taking, passionate kiss.

_Oh my God! I'm finally kissing him!_

_Geez, he's a hell of a kisser... but even then,... I'm tempted to touch._

They began moving until Aziraphale was against the table, without even looking, they tossed the empty glasses away and Aziraphale was sitted with Crowley between his legs.

_Jesus! He's touching me! And what a touch... at least his claws aren't out._

_Damn good! This is so damn good..._

Aziraphale rubbed Crowleys shoulders and his arms as the demon kissed him on the neck, teasing his earlobe.

_I don't want this to end. Let it last forever. _Aziraphale's temperature was rising.

_I don't want this to end. Let if last forever. _Crowley's blood began pumping harder.

As they were both busy, they didn't noticed as the steps got closer to the door... the soft knocking... the mechanism turning... but they heard...

"Oh my God!" Anathema couldn't blink... she had thought of it... but never intended to actually _see_ it.

"See! They aren't in danger! They are just... having... sex..." Newton stared at them for 10 seconds until the thought finally dawned on him..."They are HAVING SEX!"

Without another word, the visitors closed the door and waited beside the counter in the entrance of the shop.

"Oh fuck..." Was the only thing they could both say. Immediately they both sobered up and without a word, got back in their clothes.

In less than a minute, they were both out of the room, looking impecable, no trace of alcohol or the beginnings of sex in them.

"My dear children... how can we help you? Is there anything wrong?" Aziraphale had an innocent yet expressless smile on his face.

Newton was about to ask about their relationship but Anathema sensed it would be no good, since by the look on the angel and the demon's faces, not even they knew what was going on, so she stopped her husband and instead said:

"Well, you remember the book of prophecies my great-great-great-great-great... Agnes Nutter left me-" She was abruptly interrupted by Crowley, who was even wearing his sunglasses already.

"Oh, the one you promised not to open? That one?" He sounded pissed... but not even he knew why... he didn't care about the book... whatever was meant to happen, would happen... it was all ineffable... then why was he pissed? Not because they interrupted him and his angel... right?

"Yeah, so we opened it just por a quick peek... but nothing good came out of it..." Anathema felt back in school, being punished by her teachers she began getting cocky but ended speaking with her gaze down.

"Well, dear, what did you find out that has you both so concerned?" Aziraphale's face hadn't change.

"Nothing good, I'm afraid... but we are short on time... we'll tell you on the road."

"Excuse me? On the road? What's that supposed to mean?" Crowley's tone hadn't change either.

"That it's an emergency because it seems they both want us, everyone that you may say 'interrupted' the appocalypse, out of their way if you know what I mean. They want for the next time to be flawless." Newton had just talked like an expert, like a whole Hollywood hero, his gaze steady, his head held high, his hand on his sides, and standing straight to make his point clearer.

Neither Aziraphale nor Crowley had any doubt, Anathema's stare and Newton's speech where enough to convince them.

Newton and Anathema got into their new Mini Cooper and sped straight to Lower Tadfield.

Crowley stood beside his driver door staring at Aziraphale, who stood beside the passenger door... neither of them spoke a single word. They both climbed the black Bentley and sped up.


End file.
